NHL Says Detroit’s Tomas Holmstrom Must Be Five Feet From Goal To Score (Satire)

October 7th, 2010 by Matt Hutter Leave a reply »
As the Detroit Red Wings prepare to open the 2010-11 season at home against the Anaheim Ducks on Friday, they received some unexpected news from the NHL regarding a rule change that references Tomas Holmstrom, specifically.

NHL Director of Officiating, Terry Gregson, forwarded rule 96A to the Red Wings via fax which states: "The Detroit Red Wings will not be allowed to score a goal unless Tomas Holmstrom is at least five (5) feet away from the goal crease.  If the on-ice official determines that Holmstrom is less than five (5) feet away from the goal at the time the puck enters the net, the goal will be immediately disallowed."

"Well, we're not too happy about it," said Red Wings GM Ken Holland.  "But, the league is entitled to make the rules and officiate the game as they see fit, and we'll have to abide by what they tell us."

The new rule has been enacted as the result of several years of controversial goal and no-goal calls that have come as the result of Tomas Holmstrom's net-front play.

"Tomas Holmstrom has made a career out of screening goalies," explained Gregson.  "We understand that that's part of his game, but ...

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