Discovery Channel Kicks Off San Jose Sharks Week (Satire)

August 2nd, 2010 by Leave a reply »
The Discovery Channel kicked off Shark Week, its week-long celebration of the San Jose Sharks NHL franchise, today in style, with several brand new programs about the mediocre hockey team.

The yearly tradition of changing the entire channel over from nature programming to sports and focusing on such an obscure franchise has surprisingly worked out great for the network. Families gather around the television to tune in and see what crazy footage the Discovery cameras have captured every year.

The fun started for 2010's Shark Week with a new episode of Shark Hunters, about the brave men and women who patrol the streets of San Jose and hunt Sharks players in the offseason.

Highlighting this year's premiere was the catch of a six-foot, one-inch long, 213 pound goalkeeper named Thomas Greiss, whom the Shark Hunters snagged coming out of a nightclub. They strung the man up in the center of town by his jaws, so people could take a look at one of the largest specimens caught so far on the program.

The show has garnered a lot of controversy with human rights groups, but the open hunting laws on San Jose Sharks players have stayed in place. The cit ...

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