Redrafting the Monstars with Today’s NBA Players

November 29th, 2016 by Andrew Gould Leave a reply »
Michael Jordan and the Looney Tunes would still be stuck on Moron Mountain if the Nerdlucks from Space Jam hired some NBA scouts.

Too small to win on their own merits, the amusement park’s minions morphed into the Monstars after stealing the talent of five professional hoopers. Due to their lack of basketball knowledge, suboptimal selections cost them the game and the rights to enslave Bugs Bunny’s troupe and His Airness.

They could have robbed anyone of their skills, but they chose Charles Barkley, Larry Johnson, Patrick Ewing, Muggsy Bogues and Shawn Bradley. Sure, taking the NBA’s shortest (Bogues) and tallest (Bradley) player worked on a comedic level, but imagine if they instead absorbed the skills of Reggie Miller, Scottie Pippen, John Stockton and/or Karl Malone.

The Monstars can’t make the same mistake again. Let’s help the villains by establishing the perfect squad to win a modern rematch against the Tune Squad. Since he’s set to star in the sequel, per Rebecca Ford of Hollywood Reporter, LeBron James is on their side and therefore ineligible for this roster.

In fact, the pla ...

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