New York Knicks Declare Commitment to Underwhelming Seasons

July 4th, 2010 by WI-OH Sports Fan Leave a reply »
New York, NY (WI-OH SportsNet) — Confirming prior suspicions and months of poorly-kept secrets and rumors, the New York Knicks recently announced their intentions to blow the NBA's 2010 offseason "bonanza" of free agency in any way possible.

"Don't worry about it," Knicks team president of basketball operations Donnie Walsh told a group of reporters at an eagerly-anticipated "Disbelieve In 2010-11" media event this morning. "Whatever you weren't expecting us to achieve, we've got you covered."

Recalling the team's recent history, marked by constant underachieving and implosions in team chemistry despite the varying presences of large names, Walsh promised similar behavior heading into the aforementioned free agency bonanza.

"Amar'e [Stoudemire]? YEAH!" Walsh shouted to a fired-up crowd, complete with Stoudemire himself in a Knicks uniform, before continuing.

"LeBron? YEAH! Bosh? WHY THE HELL NOT?!?" Walsh shouted, throwing off audible amounts of excitement. "The Knicks have a long-standing tradition of nurturing feuding divas, and it'd only be a stain to our legacy and to you, the fans, if we were to do any differently ...

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