NBA Free Agent Confessionals: Chris Bosh, Toronto Raptors

May 13th, 2010 by Patrick DeCola Leave a reply »
Dear Journal,

What do I have to do to prove to people I’m just like the other guys?

We were all hired on the same day.

We were all even drafted in the top five.

I was even ahead of Dwyane!

I don’t see them making hilarious YouTube videos. Just silly T-Mobile commercials with Chuck.

Plus, I’m the King of Twitter nation!


Nobody can top that. No-bo-dy.

‘Bron doesn’t even have one. Says he’s “too busy” and “too focused.” Yeah? Well I didn’t blow a Game Five against the C’s, dude. You did.

I got to watch it from my 8,000 thread count plush fiber couch.

Oh, just looked it up. ‘Melo has 114,000 followers. Doesn’t matter, it’s close enough.


Wade has over 300,000.

So he has T-Mobile and three times as many followers. And is in Miami. And I am in Canada.

It might be time to fix this.

Step one: call the Verizon people, show them what I got. Ahem… “Can you hear me now?”

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