Carmelo Anthony and the Denver Nuggets: A Romantic Relationship Gone Sour

October 1st, 2010 by Ben Teitelbaum Leave a reply »
I was lying in bed the other night, thinking about the two things that turn me on the most: basketball and girls.

Regarding girls, my mind was jumping all over the place.

Regarding basketball, my mind was firmly fixed on Carmelo Anthony.

And that’s when it hit me. Carmelo and the Denver Nuggets are in a dysfunctional relationship.

I know what you’re thinking: Well that’s an obvious statement.

But I don’t just mean it in the typical, basketball-specific way. I’m saying that this relationship is essentially a romantic involvement gone sour. Let me break it down for you.

Carmelo Anthony: Pretty much the total package. A hottie that comes along every several years and somehow falls into your lap because the dude next to you at the bar (Detroit Pistons) was wearing beer goggles and thought some awkward foreign girl (Darko Milicic) had more promise. She agrees to date you and even fight through problems to make it work. She’s not perfect, slightly haughty and a tad needy, but she’s too good a catch to let these modest issues ruin things. You believe that with growt ...

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