Black Hole Turns Out Just to Be Ron Artest (satire)

June 14th, 2010 by Nick Cafferky Leave a reply »

In a disappointing finding, scientists have come to the conclusion that what appeared to be the first documented black hole in the history of Earth, was in actuality, Ron Artest. 

The black hole, which was first sighted in early November, only seemed to take place when the Lakers had the ball and appeared to be wearing a jersey with the number “37” on it.

“I can’t explain it,” said Lakers superstar Kobe Bryant.” Every time I pass it to what I think is my teammate, the other team has the ball.”

This is what started to spark the interest of astronomers across the nation. If there was indeed a black hole that seemed to be traveling with the Lakers, huge educational gains could be made by studying it. 

However, what was thought to be the mystical disappearance of the ball, turned out to be nothing more than Artest being a ball-hog and a momentum-killer on offense. 

“At first I chalked up the turnovers to just Artest being inept at running an ...

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